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I like to think of myself as a cool level headed guy with an abundance of patience, skill, and empathy, at least professionally. On this occasion, I wasn’t able to transfer those professional traits and stay calm – it just wasn’t happening. Okay, so he is a greenhorn and he was a brother of another – so, you going to say no? He wasn’t able to get his act together right from the very beginning no matter how hard he tried – and trying he was! We started two hours late because he forgot this and that. An hour and a half on the road when he sheepishly announces that he has left his wallet – with cash, credit cards and the like on the dresser at home. So now he’s got no money and no ID. He couldn’t remember where he packed his tent so I loan him one. A brand new Kelty Gunnison only once out of the bag to check it out. He suddenly becomes the outdoor expert when on the water and with his trusty compass leads the way that cost us four hours travelling time to get back on track and get to our first campsite. We were to land at 3ish but somehow it’s now 7ish. Tired, exhausted, the focus was on getting the tents up and getting supper cooked. “Anyone seen my tent? Terry asks. “Remember Terry?” “Everyone takes care of their own equipment and then one takes care of the community equipment.” “Oh…ya”, he says to his brother. “Aw…err…I think I may have left it at the last portage.” “Really?” “Well…I guess I better go back and get it?” “Don’t bother,” I said, “It’s a Kelty Gunnison, did I say it was brand new?” Off the adventurer goes into the wild and by 9;30is he arrives back at the site empty-handed. “Where I’m I going to sleep tonight?” he asks the startled group. “Sorry, I said, “I sleep with my dog and he doesn’t like strangers.” There is a whole lot more to this thrilling story but I’m sure you don’t need to hear all the rant. ALL SAID AND DONE – surprizingly it was one of the most memorable and funny canoe trips expereinces that I’ve ever recorded. It tops the- “Do You Remember When list?” Let me ask you – do you remember when?
The trip master says, “Okay, so do we have everything?” “The place is tidy and we have our pack it out bag?” “Good, let’s get at it.” With wide eyes and opened mouths, we witness Terry do some kind of male ballet dance into the canoe laden down with supplies and equipment. He manages to get to the centre when the canoe capsizes throwing everything into the drink including Terry. “I’m all right”, he sputters, as he comes up from the deep. With eyes still wide open we watch his floating sleeping bag that he forgot to waterproof sink below the surface. “Did anyone bring an extra sleeping bag.” “NO!” We are nestled around a larger campfire to help Terry get dried out when we notice his boot is steaming from the heat. We look at one another as Terry carries on his conversation about getting his fishing line snagged earlier in the day. It isn’t steam. His boot is actually started on fire. No one says anything. Up jumps Terry and he is hopping around like a wounded rabbit. Blazer, my golden retriever thinks he wants to play and so he joins in at which time Terry trips and falls down. One of the guys says, “Have you ever thought of going into show biz?”
Enough of that.
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